@Elmgrovegnome
Duck hunting brings back a funny memory for me too.
1st let me say... I'm not a hunter. I've been fishing since I could walk... but hunting has never been a thing for me. But there was one time that I agreed to go hunting with a friend.
My Grandfather had just picked up a new client. It was a guy who created this thing called a Gheenoe. It's a canoe with a flat back end that you can attach a boat motor to. No more need to row your canoe. The company is still in business today. Anyway... the guy gave my Grandfather one of his brand new Gheenoes as partial payment for some work. So this thing had never been used and it was sitting out in the workshop.
My friend believed that he was the world's greatest hunter. He had spent thousands on guns and camouflage hunting clothes. He had been begging me to use that Gheenoe so he could go duck hunting. This friend was kinda on the slow end in the brain dept... there was no way that my Grandfather was going to let him take that Gheenoe out on his own. So,,, I finally agreed to take him out duck hunting in it. I wasn't going to hunt... I was going to watch and fish.
My friend shows up dressed in so much camouflage and shit that he looked like he could actually hide from the predator. I could not believe the crazy amount of shit he had on. It was impressive really. He also had a very expensive gun that was basically brand new.
We get out on the water and it's unbelievably cold. I'm driving the boat and he is in the front telling me where he wanted to go. He directed me up to an area that he wanted to set up his hunting blind or whatever on. So after lots of loud direct orders from him about where I needed to put the bow of the Gheenoe up onto the bank... he was finally satisfied.
He collected all his shit so that he could take it all up on the bank at once. It was a tremendous amount of shit. I remember being amazed at the amount of stuff he was carrying as he stepped off the front of the boat. My friend was a big dude too.
When he stepped off... it seemed like time had gone into slow motion mode. He stepped off the boat onto what looked like a bank covered with plants. It turned out that the "bank" was actually just a super thick patch of water hyacinths floating on the surface. He stepped off and sank completely under the water and thick layer of hyacinths. He was completely gone. The only thing that remained was his super expensive hunting hat that had managed to come off his head as he sank down... it was on top of the hyacinths. But he was completely gone with his mountain of shit in one fluid motion. I simply could not believe my eyes.
It took way longer than it should have for him to come up from the the frigid water and hyacinths. He was in full panic mode and doing his best to tread water without dropping any of his gear.
What was I doing at this point you ask? I was laughing so hard that I was completely useless to my friend. I couldn't control it... it was completely involuntary laughter that was not stopping no matter how hard I tried.
Let me say this too. It is very difficult to climb into a Gheenoe from open water. In fact, it was impossible for my friend to do it. He managed to throw most of his gear in the boat... and then I had to drive the boat over to an actual bank while he held onto the side freezing his ass off with water coming up over his face.
We got to the bank... he climbed in... and the hunting expedition had ended. We went straight back to the boat ramp and loaded everything up and left. He was as miserable as a person could possibly be even when we were inside the vehicle with the heat blasting. I was still laughing like an insane person.
I think I was still laughing about this for days after. If I could have filmed that whole thing it would have been worth millions. Especially if I had captured the look on his face when he came up out of the water... I'm still laughing about it now just thinking about it.
That was my one and only hunting trip. I've always considered it to be unbeatable... so I've never needed to go again.
