- Joined
- Dec 22, 2015
- Messages
- 2,615
- Name
- John
"So, I don't know if you know. I spent a bit of time in street clothes when I was with the Rams,....no, it's true. So being that you're going to be in front of a national audience, and all, I thought it was important to look good. Have you thought about what you are going to wear? ...No? Good. Because I'd like to introduce you to Sam Bradfords Sideline Hoodie Collection!!
Yeah, that's right. It's all the rage for us #1 overall picks. Whether you've torn an ACL, or just been deactivated because you are a slow-witted dork. This line of Rams-wear will help you look stylin', as you cozy up to the first stringer, and pretend you are relevant as the TV cameras zoom-in during a red zone time-out. Or maybe you're spittin' seeds and laughing with one of the lineman, as if to tell the TV public, 'I got this'. You like seeds, right Jared? I mean.... you're a baseball guy."
"So without further ado:"
"This hoodie is awesome, and preferred choice for night games. And you know it gets cold in San Francisco, right Jared? What was that saying...you know...from Mark Twain?....(oh that's right...the 'sun-rise' guy). Well he once said, 'the coldest winter I ever spent, was a summer in San Francisco.' Santa Clara, whatever. Consider the vinyl/cotton hoodie."
"Next is another great hoodie with the blue, and a gold streak on each sleeve. This one is a little thicker, which might suit you well. You're about my height, but you could use some bulk. What do you weigh about a buck-fiddy?....Hey...hey... I'm just messin'. We boys, right?"
"This next...woah!!!...how'd that get there? Oh Yeah.....just a thought. Maybe before the national anthem you pull the hoodie and pace the sidelines, and give Kaepernick your best Phelpsface?....no? Alright. Moving on..."
"This one is kind of a 'throw-back' look. You're in L.A. now. It might really appeal to some of the REALLY old-timers in the Ram fan base...like @RamFan503 and @DaveFan'51 . Some of the young, virile guys like @Roman Snow and @Tron may like it, too.
"Jared, when I was spittin' seeds, and counting Stan's money, this little number looked particularly good on me. Notice the NFL logo still planted firmly on my sleeve? Don't ever be like that other bay area dork Brady and 'dis' the league, man. I mean, Super Bowl titles are nice, and everything, but when your a sideline stud, like you and me?....You gotta wear the shield proud."
"And finally, during military month, heres my 'hoody fatigues'. UUUURahhhh!! as the Marines say! You might look across and see that twisted Kaepernick in your second meeting wearing a Fidel Castro, or Black lives Matter hoodie.....Oh....I'm not saying you'll still be on the sidelines, Jared....but you know. Maybe Sean can wear this.....but wear it proud, my friend."
So there you have it Jared. The Sam Bradford Sideline Hoodie Collection! Care to place an order?
But wait! There's more! Act now and I'll throw in a case of these little babies to help ease away the time standing next to Chase Reynolds:
Order five or more garments, and I'll bump you up to the Hot N Spicy!!
"So how many would you like Jared? Cuz...I gotta go. Some people have a playbook to learn." :neener:
:fuelfire:
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