LEGEND Make Us Laugh

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After the surgery, the doctor told the woman that everything went really well and she'll be fine.

She looked at the doctor and asked "how soon will my sex life return to normal?"

The doctor looked at her oddly.

She became worried and asked him "am I really going to be OK? What about my sex life?"

The doctor said "you'll be fine... you just caught me off guard. I'd never been asked that after removing tonsils"
 
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Joe is sitting on his couch reading a magazine when his wife whacks him over the head with a newspaper.

He says "what was that for?"

His wife says "it's for that note I found in your pocket that said Lucy Lou".

Oh, Joe says, "I was at the horse track the other day and that was the name of the horse I got a tip on".

"I'm so sorry, dear, I should have known there was an explanation" said his wife.

A few days later, Joe's sitting on the coach watching TV and his wife whacks him over the head again - this time with a frying pan.

"What the hell was that for", he asks.

His wife said, "Your horse just called!!!"
:LOL:
 
Tom is sitting with his buddies telling them about his recent encounter with his girlfriend's sister.

He went over to his girlfriend's house but she wasn't home. Only her sister was there.

So he decided to stay and wait for her. As time went by, he couldn't help but stare at how hot his girlfriend's sister was. He continued to stare at her.

Finally, she says to him "well, you want to have sex?"

At that, he gets up and walks out the front door.

His girlfriend is right there and gives him a big hug and kiss.

She says "you've passed the test... now I can trust you"

He turns to his buddies and says "the moral of this story? Always keep your condoms in your car" :LOL:
 
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Soooooo.... Baker Mayfield..... the test results are in....it is determined that's Iowa State is your daddy
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this is from alphonse taylor on Twitter...........i'm not the originator of this burn............
 
How do you say "69' in Chinese?


two-can-chew



How do you say "puzzy" in Chinese?

tongue-chow


What did the gay Chinaman have for lunch?


some-young-boy:p
 
OK... I’m watching Red Zone and the announcer actually said and I quote: “The rookie shoots it into his TE”. o_O Seriously?
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