I Can't Make This Shit Up

[Juggs]

Today I did the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. As if this year hasn't already started bad. I had to go to my wife's work about noon today and relay the message that her father died. By far the hardest thing ever for me. I was very close to him, I'm able to type this only, I can barely speak without breaking down like a small child , and I'm far from emotional. He was one of two men to ever have such an impact on my life. I will miss him dearly. He passed in his sleep which is good. Thank you guys for being my ear when I have no ability to speak. I'm truly thankful for you guys.

 

[Tron]

Damn man, really sorry for your loss. At least your wife has someone like you to be there for her, and her for you as well.

 

[RamFan503]

Sorry about that Juggs. I was really close to my wife's dad too when he passed. He used to make my long bows and we'd talk on the phone pretty much every week. I can kinda get where you're coming from. Although I didn't have to break it to my wife. That would be doubly rough. We were able to get out to Montana during his last days. It still rips at me as I'm sure it is ripping at you. Just keep remembering why he was that impact.

 

[Juggs]

Thanks for your support guys. I am truly struggling with this. I've never dealt with death. The last person to die was my great grandma and I was like 6. I'm not ashamed to say, I didn't realize I had this much water in my body to cry this much.

 

[Tron]

Thanks for your support guys. I am truly struggling with this. I've never dealt with death. The last person to die was my great grandma and I was like 6. I'm not ashamed to say, I didn't realize I had this much water in my body to cry this much.

All people deal with loss in there own way, and none of them are wrong. Your Ram brothers will help how we can.

 

[LesBaker]

I've dealt with the expected and unexpected deaths of people too much. Enough that anymore I pause and reflect for a moment then understand that there isn't a choice.

Juggs I hope you find some inner strength here, you'll need it.

 

[RamFan503]

What Les said.

And if you care, it hits you hard. The only way to keep that from happening is to stop caring and that would suck worse every single day. Be good with the pain. He meant a lot to you.

 

[Lesson]

I'm sorry for your loss, Juggs. Losing someone close isn't an easy thing to deal with. If you need anyone to speak to, I'm here for you.

 

[Ramhusker]

I just read this thread and am sad to hear it Jugg. Let the tears flow bro, it's the best thing for you to deal with it . Hold your wife close man and know we got your emotional back right here.

 

[Juggs]

I think the worst of it is over for me. I still have the occasional emotional moment, but I'm better. The thing that was getting me was the finality of it all. I can still hear his voice. He was a very brash, very loud, overly opinionated and always had to be right, a lot of folks thought he was an asshole. But he treated me like his son, and he was a great man to me. He helped me come from a pill head tool to the man I am today. I will miss him every single day. I think I'm going to try and go for a long walk on our woodland trails where we hunted, maybe just have a conversation with him. I need that closure I thing. I appreciate all the kind words from you guys. I take comfort in knowing that my kids are young enough that they won't have to deal with this pain. Again, thank you guys.

 

[jrry32]

I think the worst of it is over for me. I still have the occasional emotional moment, but I'm better. The thing that was getting me was the finality of it all. I can still hear his voice. He was a very brash, very loud, overly opinionated and always had to be right, a lot of folks thought he was an asshole. But he treated me like his son, and he was a great man to me. He helped me come from a pill head tool to the man I am today. I will miss him every single day. I think I'm going to try and go for a long walk on our woodland trails where we hunted, maybe just have a conversation with him. I need that closure I thing. I appreciate all the kind words from you guys. I take comfort in knowing that my kids are young enough that they won't have to deal with this pain. Again, thank you guys.

It's difficult. I probably shouldn't be mentioning this now and apologize if you consider it to be in poor taste but the worst part is when the memory starts to fade. Hold onto the memories for as long as you can. We're all mortal. We'll all die some day. I know if I go out with a family that loved me, I'll consider my life a success.

I am very close to my grandfather and he lost my grandmother a few years ago. And I'm sad to say that I seem to be losing more and more of her in my memory the further I get from her death. I'll never forget her...but even now, it's a lot harder to remember her voice and her face(without pictures) than it was. So while this might be the most emotional and difficult period for you, this will likely be the period of time where you're closest to him. Use it to reflect and give yourself the closure you need. And then eventually, you start moving forward. Never moving on...but you always have to keep moving forward.

My condolences to you, he sounds like a great man.