Deep Random Thoughts

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I was told in Taco Bell drive thru one night that their "meat hose" was not working. I told them to fire them bitches and hire some mo! (Isn't that horrifying to know Taco Bell has something that can stop working named a "meat hose"? DAMN!
 
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have you ever wondered what type of propulsion system is used for a meat hose ?
 
You ever notice the more you want a police officer/highway patrolman to actually be on site to ticket a dangerous driver for doing something super dangerous like texting and tailgating (a favorite bloodsport here in the greater Tampa area) or weaving in and out of traffic at very high speeds or someone's clearly driving while under the influence of something or whatever... the MORE YOU WANT some sort of officer... the farther away they are...
 
Why is it that inattentive waitresses poor lukewarm coffee... so that by the time one adds a little cream and sugar, it's barely warm..., but super attentive waitresses poor lava hot coffee and do ninja refills so that each sip is a roll of the dice between "just the way I like it" and "HOLY SHIT, MY TONGUE'S ON FIRE!!!"?

Do the coffee machines know who's on duty?
 
What is the speed of dark?

If I melt dry ice, can I go for a swim without getting wet?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

If you have the Antichrist over for dinner, should you serve antipasto?
 
Since English is written left to right in abduction for a right handed person ,it stands to reason the person who invented that language is right handed,because it is the easier motion, the Bible written by the hand of God in Hebrew is written in abduction for a left handed person going right to left across the page,is God left handed?