Sad truths we can share

[Neil039]

A buddy shared that his co workers share funny but sad truths about life each week in their work chat.

So here's some from me...please share your own.

-I taught my dog to lay on my feet so she keeps them warm and so I don't have to pet her.
-I only brush my teeth for a minute, once the toothpaste taste is gone I'm done.
-I intentionally pass gas in the bathroom before I leave and close the door. I want to toughen up my son.
-I read my non profit updates in the parking lot before I go to my board meeting.
-I randomly exaggerate situations in public to embarrass my gf. Like...Crap Stephanie if you can't remember to take your meds how can I trust you with a baby?

This may not go anywhere but then again......

 

[Neil039]

Forgot this one.

Sitting down at Apple Bees with a buddy. He leans over and says, "excuse me waitress are there any families near by? My friend can't be within 100' of children".

It was brutal

 

[SWAdude]

I don't know if this plays well but what the hell......

When I go into the pilot lounge where we all go to start our trips there are usually around a dozen other pilots hanging around doing whatever. If I see a friend I haven't seen for a while there usually is a friendly mutual greeting like "Hey dude! Whats been going on?" And I will say "Man nice to see you! So happy you got your job back!"

About a dozen heads spin around to see who we are. We both get a good laugh at the joke.