Florida is a treasure trove

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Medium-sized Lebowski
Joined
Jun 20, 2010
Messages
35,623
Name
The Dude
Google "Florida Man", followed by your birthday.
For example, "Florida Man, October 2" will get you mine.

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After all it is Floriduh. Just think that this excludes the other half of the population. So search Florida woman.
 
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My birthday is actually July 31, but this is what came up....

Florida man tells deputies he wasn't drinking while driving, just at stop signs

Posted: 4:11 PM, Jul 11, 2018

Updated: 4:11 PM, Jul 11, 2018
By: Mary Stringini
90

INDIAN RIVER COUNTY, Fla. — After a Florida man was pulled over with a bottle of bourbon in the front seat, he told deputies that he wasn't drinking while driving; only at traffic lights and stop signs.

Earle Stevens Jr., 69, was arrested on June 27 in Vero Beach after a woman called 911 saying that the vehicle behind her kept hitting her rear bumper while in the McDonald's drive-thru line, according to Treasure Coast Palm .

When deputies pulled Stevens over, they noticed an open bottle of liquor on the passenger seat. Deputies say that he smelled of alcohol and told them he felt "pretty good."

Stevens allegedly told deputies he was drinking Jim Beam bourbon from the bottle, but only at "stop signs."

“He further explained that he was not drinking while the car was moving," the arrest affidavit states. "Only when he stopped for stop signs and traffic signals.”

Deputies say Stevens said he’s never had a valid Florida driver's license.

Stevens was arrested on charges of DUI and driving without a license. After he was taken to jail his blood alcohol content was measured at 0.153 and 0.147. The legal limit is 0.08.

Stevens posted his $1,500 bond on June 28. He is scheduled to appear in court on Tuesday, July 31.
 
HAHAHAHA! These are great....

Florida man hit by car during botched Keke Challenge
Jaylen Norwood suffers some scrapes, but video goes viral

Posted: 8:40 AM, July 31, 2018Updated: 8:46 AM, July 31, 2018
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Holy Shit Batman... I was expecting my pic to pop-up. But Nooooooooo...

Florida Man Chugs Beer During DUI Stop
 
This is a fun game and seems to be trending.

It's crazy how much stuff came up on my birthday!

The best was a guy that had an old flak jacket and wanted to see if it was still functional. So he put it on and his cousin shot him. He died.
 
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This is a fun game and seems to be trending.

It's crazy how much stuff came up on my birthday!

The best was a guy that had an old flak jacket and wanted to see if it was still functional. So he put it on and his cousin shot him. He died.
Should be a Darwin Award winner.
 
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Yours would pop up in the Bahama Man search LOL.


Yeah... that would be true, but those stupid thieving mother fuckers can't spell. They spelled my last name wrong on all their shit, so even the newspapers had our last name wrong. That wasn't the case for our girlfriend who was with us though... they spelled her name correctly.

Muuuhahahahaaaaa
 
Reported April 11 but crime actually committed on APRIL 9th - my birthday :LOL:

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A Florida man was stabbed to death Monday because his roommate feared the man was making sexual advances toward him, say police.

The incident happened just 20 miles and a day apart from another anti-gay attack that is being investigated as a possible hate crime.

Leon Frazier was 60 years old and living in West Park with Johnny Edward Granger, 53.

“Granger admitted to stabbing Frazier three times outside their home in West Park the evening of April 9 because he felt the victim was making sexual advances towards him,” said Broward County Sheriff’s Office in a statement

Shortly after 9 pm, Frazier’s sister found him bleeding profusely from several stab wounds in the back. He was rushed to Memorial Regional Hospital, where he died.

Granger initially fled the scene, said police.
 
April 13:

ROYAL PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) — A Florida man ended up in jail after his dashboard camera showed police more than he intended.
 
I was less than thrilled with my Florida men. One tried to burn his apartment complex down to kill his Jewish neighbors (are you freaking serious?) And the other called 911 one hundred times in a day.

So one is an unforgivable asshole who isn't funny and the other is a harmless moron that doesn't even make for a good story.
 
February 16

Florida Man Takes Joyride Over Seven Mile Bridge in a Backhoe

Monroe County Sheriff’s Office deputies arrested a 59-year-old who stole a backhoe and rode it across the Seven Mile Bridge in the Florida Keys on Tuesday. Carl Blahnik of Marathon, Florida, now faces eight charges relating to endangering the officers, stealing the backhoe and damaging the bridge. Blahnik was responsible for the closure of the bridge for several hours and was only arrested after driving over a spike trap set by officers, reported WFLA. Credit: Monroe County Sheriff’s Office.
 
Florida man receives $980,000 tax refund after reporting $18,497 in wages

A Florida man who reported $18,497 in wages is in trouble after he received a $980,000 tax refund based on a false tax return that he filed, according to a criminal complaint filed in U.S. District Court in Tampa, Florida.

The complaint, which was filed Jan. 18, said the tax refund came after Ramon Christopher Blanchett reported $1,000,000 in federal income tax withheld on one of his forms.

"Based on Blanchett’s submission of the Form 1040, falsely representing that $1,000,000 in taxes had been withheld, the U.S. Treasury issued check number 403808854305, made payable to Blanchett, for $980,000," the complaint said.
 
No offense but Florida is all kinds of F’d up. That vagrant who was high on bath salts eating another man on the side of the highway a few years back.Nothing ever comes good from there. What happened?
 
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No offense but Florida is all kinds of F’d up. That vagrant who was high on bath salts eating another man on the side of the highway a few years back.Nothing ever comes good from there. What happened?

In defense of the state I call home right now there is so much natural beauty here it is astounding. So much to see and do. Incredible wealth as well.

However it comes with a price. A few prices actually.

Lots of people of all types come here. And a lot of them are fucked up in the head.

But there is a lot to like here and my Florida brethren will back me up on that.
 
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What Les said. It's especially nice on the Gulf side.
 
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Florida man receives $980,000 tax refund after reporting $18,497 in wages

A Florida man who reported $18,497 in wages is in trouble after he received a $980,000 tax refund based on a false tax return that he filed, according to a criminal complaint filed in U.S. District Court in Tampa, Florida.

The complaint, which was filed Jan. 18, said the tax refund came after Ramon Christopher Blanchett reported $1,000,000 in federal income tax withheld on one of his forms.

"Based on Blanchett’s submission of the Form 1040, falsely representing that $1,000,000 in taxes had been withheld, the U.S. Treasury issued check number 403808854305, made payable to Blanchett, for $980,000," the complaint said.
Holy shit! I swear, people do shit that I never thought possible or even considered! I just assumed there is something that prevents things like this in place from happening already. I guess not.. Lol Guess I’m getting arrested next tax season! ;)
 
April 3rd-
"Florida Man bites the head off a live chicken"

"I'll do you one better" ~Ozzy